“Your biopsy came back. I’m sorry, you have breast cancer”_ are dreaded words too many women hear these days. If you don’t hear them personally, chances are someone close to you will. While no proven cure has been discovered for this disease, much has been accomplished to send it into remission, and there are women who live many long fruitful years after its diagnosis.
As October 2007 comes to a close, awareness of this cancer affecting women has been addressed via a multitude of avenues, especially by discussing prevention, since that is the best intervention. We don’t know what causes breast cancer, but we believe a healthy lifestyle that includes exercise and a nutritious diet is important. Doing thorough self-exams monthly and having yearly mammograms after the age of 40 (or when your own doctor recommends, based on your personal history) is of the utmost importance. (And an “event-free” self-exam does not equate to being allowed to skip your mammogram.)
We should consider risk factors, but never assume immunity because this disease can outsmart every known risk factor from family history to healthy living. And then we find ourselves preparing for surgery, chemotherapy and/or radiation.
Mammograms can save lives via early detection, but nothing is foolproof. I found a lump three months before I was due for my annual exam.
After the shock of the diagnosis begins to dull, we who are diagnosed are blessedly busy, fighting with every fiber of our being. And if we’re lucky enough to win this battle, which may take up to a year, then the day arrives when we say goodbye to the chemotherapy nurses and the radiation therapists who wish us well, perhaps with a whimsical “certificate of completion” as mine did. We do continue to have an ongoing relationship with the oncologist; however, trips to his or her office are less frequent.
This ensuing freedom should be liberating, but once we cease to actively fight the disease, the fear may creep in that we are not doing enough. So what should we do when we can once again look to the future and we no longer must schedule our days and weeks around trips to the hospital for treatments?
In addition to taking care of ourselves physically, we should surround ourselves with whatever makes us happy. Humor and laughter are healing. So is enough rest; I recommend making time for daily naps. Find beauty where you see it – whether in the form of music, art and/or nature to soothe the soul.
Attitude is crucial on several fronts. A positive attitude is necessary to endure the discomforts of treatment. “You need to be happy to heal,” my primary care physician, a compassionate young woman, told me. Yet anxiety and depression, both natural responses, can keep contentment at bay. Some doctors recommend the use of an antidepressant during this time. After battling cancer, we work toward a higher level of spirituality and emotional maturity. We live the clich‚d “one day at a time.”
And there is no substitute for the support of family and friends. Beyond this, the organized support groups serve a multitude of purposes. When a woman is first diagnosed, she may seek a group with whom she can openly share her story and her fears and from whom she can receive answers backed by first-hand experience.
A support group found in church will be based on spirituality, prayer and faith. For many women, the confirmation and validation they find with other women of faith will make them stronger and remind them of blessings and gifts to appreciate.
Hospitals offer support groups, too. (But when a patient is already spending hours at the hospital for treatments, the hospital may not always be the chosen place to spend free time.) However, one benefit of a group meeting at the hospital is the health-care professionals are readily available and are often called upon as guest speakers.
Another avenue for women is to organize their own support group. As the number of cancer survivors grows, the need for more support groups expands as well. Sometimes, especially in more rural areas, this need is not being met. When a woman decides to take up this cause, it is best to begin as a co-facilitator and call the organization a self-help group. The American Cancer Society (cancer.org) can be of great help by providing a facilitator’s guide and by registering the organization. Groups’ meeting times and frequencies vary, some weekly, others monthly.
A group must be positive to be worthwhile. Although members may express negative concerns and fears, I find the groups I attend surprisingly upbeat. As a two-year survivor of breast cancer, I am now a far different person from the time I was diagnosed, and I like myself better. The dynamics of group support fascinate me. I have met wonderful women I would not know if it weren’t for the cancer. I’ve made new friends, accepted their compassionate advice and comfort, and received a wealth of education. Finally, in March, with the help of another cancer survivor and because we perceived a need, we started our own cancer self-help group.
Part of support is coming to grips with the reality that not everyone survives this disease. When a member receives bad news again, the group reaches out with love and compassion. We support our sick friend as each of us faces mortality. When someone succumbs and loses the battle, we experience mixed emotions. We know it could be us now or later and we all grow spiritually.
The sorority of breast cancer survivors is growing in number, and while we hope for and expect wonders from medical science any day, we continue to battle this disease in small, personal ways together.