By Kristie Kennedy ~
Have you ever taken the time to be still and examine the root cause of major fears holding you back from living a more fulfilled life? For many years I battled with fear of failure and even to this day. It was not until I stopped running and decided to boldly face the very thoughts that imprisoned me. In order to understand how to overcome any behavior rooted in fear, it is important to identify its origin.
This is not an easy place to journey. Why? Because it may cause you to revisit unpleasant experiences that were buried alive and subsequently never died. They are patiently waiting for you to deal with them once and for all. Walking in the light of truth is a powerful key able to unlock any prison door.
Personally, I know firsthand how difficult and daunting a task it is to annihilate self defeating habits that suffocate your potential, stifle your creativity and sabotage your success. It will require an honest look at where you have come from, where you presently stand and where you envision yourself in the future.
During my college years, I remember vividly being in my apartment paranoid of singing in my own living room for FEAR that someone on the outside would hear me. I would walk towards the peep hole to ensure no one was anywhere near my front door.
It’s not just enough to be aware of a fear we have but we must endeavor to find out WHY we fear in the first place. This will require that you ask yourself detailed questions to discover where they initiated from. Take a moment and trace a specific fear to the very first time you experienced it. Where were you? What were you doing? Is there someone who made you feel threatened? How did you feel?
I distinctively recall as a young girl watching my parents fight. I would dash to the next door neighbor’s house seeking a safe haven. As we repeat behaviors a set pattern of thinking is crystallized in our subconscious. Any time a remotely familiar occurrence takes place a deep memory is triggered.
I have been laughed at for being DIFFERENT, my singing ability was ridiculed, I have been booed off the stage while performing, choked under pressure giving a presentation, mocked at for being too skinny, fallen flat on my face in several business ventures, mistake after mistake has been made.
Internally if you’ve encountered enough negative encounters in life you can allow them to make you powerful or powerless. Oftentimes those who have been victimized take on a victim mentality and become overly cautious, ultra sensitive and downright anxious about the never appearing boogie man.
Most recently I found a brand new freedom in understanding why I have a tendency to be hard on myself especially, if I make even the slightest mistake or don’t perform up to self imposed standards.
I traced it back to my younger years. There were moments that if I half did a task my backside would be greeted by my mother’s belt. I misinterpreted her discipline to mean bad performance, bad girl. I started to fear making mistakes at one point and believe perfectionist tendencies were born out of that fear of failure.
It is time for you to rise from the mire of mediocrity and heed the voice of greatness. Stand boldly and face your fears one thought at a time! Refuse to run from your past mistakes, imperfections and the opinions of others. The worst prisons are not those erected by the hands of man but those constructed by our own vain imaginations. It is important to remember on your path of transformation that change is a process and not a single event. The only authority that fear possesses is the power of attorney you relinquish to it.
Reflection Questions for Redirection:
1) What do you fear most in life?
2) Can you identify the root cause of your fear/s?
3) Complete this sentence; First, I will overcome my fear by____________. Secondly, one way I can begin to love and accept myself is by_______________?
About the Author:
Kristie Kennedy, is a Women’s Beauty, Business, Brilliance and Body Image Transformational Life Coach who challenges women to move beyond self sabotaging mindsets into purpose, prosperity and power. Visit her at www.kristiekennedy.com or www.wisewomenentrepreneurs.com.