Fall can be a great time to plan a family gathering, whether it’s a reunion or a brief trip. In any event, planning is key to creating a successful and enjoyable time together.
While I have heard that some families get along easily and well, I don’t actually know one where some problems don’t arise when they get together. Why bother going to the trouble of planning a gathering or a trip if it may create stress or bad feelings? The answer: With good planning and a little good luck, a family gathering can be a time to have fun, build and strengthen relationships and provide a network of support for its members.
The world is full of all kinds of people, and people are messy. Most family members are a mixture of kind and unkind, helpful and unhelpful, healthy and unhealthy. None of us are perfect. Ask yourself if you are better off with these people or not. Is someone you love connected to the family in such a way that it’s beneficial to plan or participate in a family gathering? If you decide to proceed, these tips will help you make the most of your time together.
Clarify expectations and put them in writing in advance:
- Who will pay for what and how much?
- Where will people stay and for how long?
- Who will be responsible for helping to do what?
- How will transportation be handled?
- How will food expenses be handled?
- What about rules for smoking, drinking, driving?
Prepare to deal with potential relationship issues:
- Agree to disagree about different beliefs or topics.
- Agree to respect different memories about family history or perspectives about life choices.
- Focus on what’s positive about people; be respectful of others.
- Anticipate possible challenging people or situations, then be part of a solution instead of part of a problem.
- All you can do is all you can do. Take responsibility for your own (and your children’s) behavior.
Logistical Planning for Success:
While I have heard that some families get along easily and well, I don’t actually know one where some problems don’t arise when they get together. Why bother going to the trouble of planning a gathering or a trip if it may create stress or bad feelings? The answer: With good planning and a little good luck, a family gathering can be a time to have fun, build and strengthen relationships and provide a network of support for its members.
The world is full of all kinds of people, and people are messy. Most family members are a mixture of kind and unkind, helpful and unhelpful, healthy and unhealthy. None of us are perfect. Ask yourself if you are better off with these people or not. Is someone you love connected to the family in such a way that it’s beneficial to plan or participate in a family gathering? If you decide to proceed, these tips will help you make the most of your time together.
- Who will pay for what and how much?
- Where will people stay and for how long?
- Who will be responsible for helping to do what?
- How will transportation be handled?
- How will food expenses be handled?
- What about rules for smoking, drinking, driving?
- Agree to disagree about different beliefs or topics.
- Agree to respect different memories about family history or perspectives about life choices.
- Focus on what’s positive about people; be respectful of others.
- Anticipate possible challenging people or situations, then be part of a solution instead of part of a problem.
- All you can do is all you can do. Take responsibility for your own (and your children’s) behavior.